MORTALITY

13 Apr

MORTALITY

two boys anime photo: Two Boys 407275.jpg Seth said,

I was eleven when I first knew people died, I mean really knew, really understood. Before then there were graveyards and epitaphs and hearses driving by with old men doffing their hats. But there wasn’t death as such, just shadows of it.

Seth said,

There was Kevin at school and I loved Kevin. I know one boy shouldn’t love another boy and in all truth back then I didn’t know that was what it was. Love. But I played with him, lots of games, innocent and sunshine games, running across the meadow and jumping the stream in the copse until one of us got wet and went home for me to be clouted. They never clouted Kevin because Kevin was … special.

Seth said,

And we would spend winter days, when it was too cold to play outside, in each others’ homes, doing this or that or nothing very much. We were young and the only stuff we knew was young stuff. We didn’t know sex. Why should we? We were young like saplings or the fresh green roots of spring. And we played sapling games and told each other sapling things.

Like we’re friends, aren’t we? Best friends… the best friends ever.

Then Seth said,

And one day Kevin died. There I was, on my way to school, and his white-faced ma stopped me at his gate when I was calling for him to take him with me to the playground and she said, his ma said,

Seth, I’m sorry, Kevin’s dead.

What a simple sentence! I didn’t know what it meant. How could I, the Seth of eleven years of age who didn’t understand that lives can end. So I looked at her and said, where’s Kevin? And she dabbed her eyes with a white handkerchief and said again, Seth, I’m sorry, Kevin’s dead…

And Seth said,

He’s what?

Seth, we were expecting it. The doctors said, when he was little, that he wouldn’t live so long… they said his heart would stop sooner or later and that would be that… I know you were friends, Seth, so you probably knew…

And Seth said,

How could I know? And where is he? I mean, where is the thinking Kevin, his ideas, the miracle that was him? Where are the games he played? Where are the things he said? Where is…

Kevin. Where…

…his love.

You see, said Seth, I love Kevin… And, you know, he loves me…

And Seth said

That’s why I found my God. That’s why I read the books and talked to the vicars and priests, that’s why I joined the church when I grew so old, that’s why I learned to preach.

So I could meet Kevin again, one day, in Paradise.

© Peter Rogerson 13.04.15

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2 Responses to “MORTALITY”

  1. georgiakevin April 13, 2015 at 2:39 pm #

    This is a touching and beautiful post. Your work is to the eyes like fine music is to the ears.

  2. Peter Rogerson April 13, 2015 at 5:11 pm #

    Thanks, Kevin. I think you over-egg me, though!!

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